a pale shade of yellow

"I tried hard to be white, and there were people who hated me to trying to be too white. And then I tried to be yellow again and there were people who hated me for being too yellow, so I tried to be a paler shade of yellow to please everyone, and there were people who hated me for being a little too white; and so I tried to darken up a bit and there were people who hated me for that too.

So all I’m left with is something in the middle; not yellow nor white, not one thing or another. Just something halfway in-between."

-A Pale Shade of Yellow by Patricia Pham via 8asians.com

my my does that sound mighty familar or what? it took me awhile (until late in elementary school) to even truly realize that i was different from everyone else because of the way i looked and it was a struggle from then (and still is) - a constant oscillation between proud and shameful