giles li

yesterday saw giles li, a community activist and slam poet (who coincidentally works in a community center in my grandmother's condo building) perform and talk as the keynote speaker for asian heritage month. really liked his performance and his poems none of which i remember well enough to quote but i always find it amazing how much word twisting and texture can go into these poems that are also embedded with meaning both for the poet and for the listener. even though most of his poems cover pretty serious stuff, he kept the show light with lots of talking and stories and some acoustic guitar.

here's one of his poems that he didn't perform, but that i found on his website and really liked (remember what i said about some of his poems being serious/a bit of downers):

For Bang Mai, 16
stabbed to death on July 11, 2004 in South Boston

The sky is getting darker.
We’re losing our stars one at a time
to streets that don’t hear prayers
and calls to stop the violence.

Our sons are dying in the city scenes they call home
as their mothers send breakfast-time chants in their direction,
keeping them safe until streetlights come clean
to serve as makeshift guardian angels.
A generation disappearing before its light has a chance
to shine through,
etch its shadow in our minds,
decorate our night sky with spirits
we can remember without having to try.

A generation disappearing, begging for blessings
from anyone who might have them to give.

It’s harder to notice stars from the city
because lights from the ground
make them harder to see.
Another one of our stars has fallen to the ground,
and all we can do is keep our heads up,
eyes toward the heavens,
and wish there was an answer that
would keep our night sky from falling,
falling,
trying to lull us back to sleep.

But it’s hard to find sleep tonight,
because looking into the sky,
we know another one of our stars was taken
before his time.

copyright Giles Li, 2004

abduction of boys in china: nyt quote of the day

"a girl is just not as good as a son. it doesn’t matter how much money you have. if you don’t have a son, you are not as good as other people who have one."

su qingcai, a tea farmer in China who paid $3,500 for a 5-year-old boy

so this was the quote of the day today in the new york times and my only reaction really is ew. i mean i have others too. like how still in china girls just aren't as good as boys - the stigma clearly thrives given the article this comes out of about how there's a lucrative business in kidnapping and selling boys. and that's not even half the problem...i mean i know it's not the focus of the article but how much must it suck to be a girl there. you have to be good so your parents can be proud of you and you have to make up for the fact that you're a girl and not a boy. egad. it's sad that people see such justification in buying up boys to make their family better.

soar conference

this past weekend i took some time off from spring breaking at home to travel down to hartford, ct to participate in the SOAR conference aka society organized against racism (in new england higher education) which was pretty interesting although much better at talking about stuff than actually coming up with anything about what to do about it or how to think about what's going on. some interesting speakers from the 60s, including charles mcdew who started SNCC. maybe i'll write more thoughts on that later, or put up some of my notes from the conference. but one other thing that was particularly interesting to me was that i was one of a handful of asians and i'm not even just counting east asians, that includes south asians too and could probably even include the middle east which is technically southwest asia. it was a very typically expected group of people, black and white. now i'm not saying that that's a bad thing, just that racism on college campuses doesn't just affect black people, the most recent event on my college campus happened against an asian girl. i guess all i'm saying is that i wish there was more variety because it is an issue and it's not just a matter of black and white.

profiling

ever been profiled?

for me, it's never been damaging or detrimental to me in any kind of deep, profound way, just something that bothers me. a recent incident reminded me of how prevalent it is in our society. a really nice guy at the snack bar where i go to school asked me if knew this girl tiffany who apparently tutors his daughter. i didn't at the time. turns out, tiffany's asian like me. i guess all the asians know all the other asians...and i guess it is partially true - most of the asians where i go to school know most of the other asians but really thats because there aren't all that many of us, so it's not too hard. still. it does seem that in society as a whole, often times people act like if your asians you will probably know this other asian they know. ummm not true. there are more east asians in the world then i count to in a sitting and if you throw in the rest of asia too, it becomes a number i don't think i'd ever have the patience to count to (not that i'd have the patience to count to the number in east asia either, but that's besides the point).

a friend of mine made this joke the other day about how some of the lacrosse equipment hadn't come in yet and it was "made in china" so could i just make a phone call and fix that problem? yea, it was funny. i'll admit that. but. part of me was like, you're kidding. another asian joke. in retrospect, it was even less funny, but i've sort of gotten used to being profiled and teased (mostly endearingly) about being asian (not even usually specifically about being chinese), and that in itself it a little disgusting to me because sometimes i feel like it should bother me more. who knows. i'll think about it some more and get back to you.

"seeking justice, chinese land in secret jails"

"i know my life is in danger but I just can't swallow this injustice" - wang shixiang, a Chinese businessman who has made 10 trips to beijing to petition for the prosecution of corrupt policemen, each visit ending in detention

ick. in a political system where petitions are means of getting your voice heard but where petitions mean black marks on the records of the local politicians, it's no wonder that government officials play dangerous games to prevent one of these petitions from being successfully filed and those who help them are rewarded lucratively.

the whole system has turned into an official way of saying here, have your say, while unofficially squashing any and all complaints and opinions.

all i can say is that as glad i am to be chinese, it's articles like this that make me glad there's a hyphen american after that. (not that petitions around here are oh so much more effective, but at least we don't usually get arrested into black houses for doing it).

via nytimes

alvin lau

just saw slam poet alvin lau and was reminded how great poetry and spoken word are for laughter and meaning and back in split seconds. how it stays with you even after the perfomance is over.

two samples that have particularly great messages

a pale shade of yellow

"I tried hard to be white, and there were people who hated me to trying to be too white. And then I tried to be yellow again and there were people who hated me for being too yellow, so I tried to be a paler shade of yellow to please everyone, and there were people who hated me for being a little too white; and so I tried to darken up a bit and there were people who hated me for that too.

So all I’m left with is something in the middle; not yellow nor white, not one thing or another. Just something halfway in-between."

-A Pale Shade of Yellow by Patricia Pham via 8asians.com

my my does that sound mighty familar or what? it took me awhile (until late in elementary school) to even truly realize that i was different from everyone else because of the way i looked and it was a struggle from then (and still is) - a constant oscillation between proud and shameful